• Show affection for your child. Recognize her accomplishments.
• Help your child develop a sense of responsibility—ask him to help with household tasks,
such as setting the table.
• Talk with your child about school, friends, and things she looks forward to in the future.
• Talk with your child about respecting others. Encourage him to help people in need.
• Help your child set her own achievable goals—she'll learn to take pride in herself and rely
less on approval or reward from others.
• Make clear rules and stick to them, such as how long your child can watch TV or when he
has to go to bed. Be clear about what behavior is okay and what is not okay.
• Help your child learn patience by letting others go first or by finishing a task before going out
to play. Encourage him to think about possible consequences before acting.
• Do fun things together as a family, such as playing games, reading, and going to events in
your community.
• Get involved with your child's school. Meet the teachers and staff to understand the learning
goals and how you and the school can work together to help your child do well.
• Continue reading to your child. As your child learns to read, take turns reading to each
other.
• Use discipline to guide and protect your child, rather than punishment to make her feel
badly about herself.
• Support your child in taking on new challenges. Encourage him to solve problems, such as a
disagreement with another child, on his own.


Middle Childhood (9–11 years old)

Your child's growing independence from the family and interest in friends might be obvious by now. Healthy friendships are very important to your child's development, but peer pressure can become strong during this time. Children who feel good about themselves are more able to resist negative peer pressure and make better choices for themselves. This is an important time for children to gain a sense of responsibility along with their growing independence. Also, physical changes of puberty might be showing by now, especially for girls. Another big change children need to prepare for during this time is starting middle or junior high school. However, you can help your child become independent, while building his or her sense of responsibility and self-confidence at the same time.

Spend time with your child. Talk with her about her friends, her accomplishments, and what challenges she will face.

• Be involved with your child's school. Go to school events; meet your child's teachers.
• Encourage your child to join school and community groups, such as a team sport, or to take
advantage of volunteer opportunities.
• Help your child develop his own sense of right and wrong. Talk with him about risky things
friends may pressure him to do, like smoking or dangerous physical dares.
• Help your child develop a sense of responsibility—involve your child in household tasks.
Talk to your child about saving and spending money wisely.
• Meet the families of your child's friends.
• Talk with your child about respecting others. Encourage your child to help people in need.
Talk with him or her about what to do when others are not kind or are disrespectful.
• Help your child set his own goals. Encourage him to think about skills and abilities he would
like to have and about how to develop them.
• Make clear rules and stick to them. Talk to your child about what you expect from her when
no adults are supervising. If you provide reasons for rules, it will help your child to know
what to do in those situations.
• Use discipline to guide and protect your child, instead of punishment to make him feel badly
about himself.
• Talk with your child about the normal physical and emotional changes of puberty.
• Encourage your child to read every day. Talk with her about her homework.
• Be affectionate and honest with your child, and do things together as a family.