The best definition of motivation is this: change-oriented movement. This defines motivation as action in the direction of goals. The careful selection of goals can determine whether your teenagers' motivation grows or flags. One of the most useful steps you can take is to assist them in crafting goals that are truly motivational. Here are some pointers:

Goals should be behavioral. The goals should be stated in terms of behaviors over which your teenagers have control.

For example, "I will be on the Honor Roll" is a poorly defined goal. Although its achievement would be clear and positive, it is not behavioral. In terms of academic success, better-defined goals for your teenagers would be "I will attend school daily, complete all my in-class and homework assignments, attend tutoring sessions, and study for tests." Those are behaviors (and goals) over which the teen has control.

Goals should be precise. They should be so clear and precise that there is no question whether they have been attained. "I will work harder" or "I will take my school work more seriously" are poorly-stated, imprecise goals. Goals should be defined in such a way that there can be no argument between you and your teenagers whether or not they have been accomplished. You can argue about how hard they are working, but whether homework has been submitted or not will be clear to you both.

Goals should be a process rather than an outcome. I commonly tell my teenage clients, "Forget about your grades." Grades are merely a reflection of their daily effort. Instead, I encourage them to list what they will do frequently or immediately that will produce their eventual desired outcome of improved grades. Because these process goals can be met on a frequent basis, their achievement is motivating, whereas semester grades won't be determined for weeks, at best.

Language. Don't allow your teenagers to include the words "hope" or "try" when defining goals. If they "try" to do homework but don't complete it, it is no better than not trying at all. Frame goals around the word "will."
Helping your teenagers craft their goals in this manner results in the goals themselves having a motivational function.









Dennis Bumgarner, ACSW, LCSW is a family counselor who has been consulting with parents for more than 35 years. He is the creator of the parent training video "Get the Behavior You Want from Your Child" as well as the DVD "Kindness, Courtesy, and Respect" for children. Additionally, he is the author of "Motivating Your Intelligent but Unmotivated Teenager." He is in demand as a trainer for parents, schools, and social service agencies and had provided hundreds of training presentations around the country.