Between work, family, and other obligations, parents today are stretched to the max as far as time is concerned. To balance it all, many turn to older siblings for help with seeing to the needs of younger children as well as the household. This is a great way to teach older kids responsibility as well as assist in the development of the relationship between them and their brothers and sisters. It is important, however, to find a balance between making older kids responsible for day to day tasks with giving them the freedom to just be kids. Here are a few tips for balancing the responsibilities of older children.

Before assigning tasks to older kids, it is important to gauge their level of maturity. This will directly affect the types and amount of responsibility they will be able to handle. Children develop at different rates. So although your friend’s 12 year pre teen may be able to stay home alone with their younger siblings, your child might not have reached that level. Take some time to observe them as well as how they interact with the younger kids to determine if they are ready for a role of increased responsibility. You may need to get second and third opinions from friends and other family members.

If you’ve determined that your child is ready for more responsibility, then start with small tasks. Make them responsible for one or two things and supervise them. For example, you can put them in charge of helping the younger kids dress for school or have them do certain household chores. For the first few weeks you should double check their work before you let them take over the task completely. You will be training them in the way that you want things done. At the same time, though, listen to any suggestions they may have. This will make them feel as though they are a part of the family rather than just a mini-you.

Make sure kids know the house rules. Things like doing homework before playing video games or completing chores before talking on the phone should be expressed directly. You should also share your goals and expectations of them as a way of inspiring them and helping them grow as people. Although you want your kids to grow up to be responsible adults, don’t forget to allow them time and space to just be a kid. Childhood only happens once. Let them enjoy the years they have.